Dear Mom on an iPhone: You are doing OK.

Have you seen this thing, making the rounds on Facebook? I’ve seen it at least six times in the last three days. While I do agree that we all miss important things while we are spending too much time on our phones, I can’t help but feel that this is just one more way for people to tear moms down. One of my pet peeves is the perception that mothers are public property and that having an opinion on someone else’s parenting entitles you to criticize them over every little thing they do. So I’m going to say something that might not be too popular, but which needs to be said.

Listen, Mom on an iPhone, you are doing a good job. You probably don’t hear that much. In fact, you are probably on your iPhone right now, reading about what a bad mom you are. You’re not. You are doing ok. Don’t listen to people trying to pressure you with the idea that you have to be perfect. Everybody phones it in sometimes. It is not the end of the world if you let your kids amuse themselves, just once, while you email photos of them to your mom or check Facebook  or swap texts with your friend with the abusive husband. Our parents did not pay attention to us every single second of every single day, either.

Maybe you’re feeling overwhelmed today, and you need a break. That’s ok. You took your kid to the park. Good for you. That park is a place Keeghan and I have to ourselves almost every time we go. So good for you for taking them outside. You should take more breaks, so you have more mental energy for your kids. It’s hard to give them the kind of focus the job demands every day. Take breaks. Plan them, so you won’t suddenly need to lock yourself in your room with all the chocolate chips during family time.

Every single one of us would benefit from putting our phones in our pocket more, but let’s not make this about who is and who isn’t a good mom, ok? Because that’s fighting dirty. If you keep trying to go there, I’m going to bring up the one about glass houses, and people who throw stones.

Let’s just remember: Tomorrow is another day. Today, we all made mistakes. Tomorrow, we will all do better.

Love you ALL, you wonderful people. Love you all.

About Meghan G

I like blues, punk, and crime drama. I love having boys, keeping active, and the outdoors. I'm a cat person, but I think dogs should have equal opportunities.

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8 Comments on “Dear Mom on an iPhone: You are doing OK.”

  1. i read this a while back ago and it opened my eyes!! i was so guilty of it!! That day i deleted my facebook and i only talk to friends while boys are napping are asleep! but that day it was my mission to put my phone down and pay attention to my kids casue one day i wotn have that moment and i never want to regret not taking advantage of the time i have.

    1. I am the first to admit that it is easy to get sucked in. My problem with the original post is not the idea that we spend too much time on our phones. Everyone could benefit from that message. The problem is that the author decided to address the issue by taking potshots at someone whose biggest crime was Parenting in Public. If we want to have a meaningful dialog about how much time we spend on our phones, that is awesome. But we need to start by looking in the mirror, not by pointing fingers.

      1. i agree! the author should not have taken this photo of someone. We don’t know what she is doing on that phone and it really isn’t our buisness. And i turn to get a break and i am also one who can’t just sit and watch tv without doing nothign and my phone is usually what i grab for!!

      2. Can I also add that kids need to learn to play by themselves – and entertain themselves – including on a playground – so whether a mom is checking her phone or sitting on an bench and tuning out – this is NOT A BAD THING. Teaching kids that they are the center of everything at all times and mommy’s only needs are to do what the children needs – is what is a bad thing. Good for you for defending this woman. Every mother needs MANY MOMENTS all day long – that have absolutely nothing to do with her children – including when those kids are AWAKE.

  2. I make it a point of keeping my phone on my bag and only check it when we are taking a little break for juice or a snack. Our kids are precious and it is dangerous out there as evidence from all the kidnappings etc.

  3. Um I am not sure how from that photo you can see that she was not paying attention to her kids, maybe she just snapped a picture and was emailing it out to grandparents or friends.. Um I say good for her.. she is at least standing with them and not sitting on a bench bs’ing with her friends ignoring them all together.. I fully agree with your post.. how dare anyone judge.

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